Flirt Coach Peta Heskell recommends being blissfully single.  

Peta Heskell, the Flirt Coach, and author of four books, including the just-released ''The Flirt Coach's Secrets of Attraction' believes that the key to successful relationships is to enjoy being blissfully single first.    

A client told me that over Valentine's she felt as if the whole world were couples and she was the only single.   It's not uncommon to feel really down at this time of year, which is Peta is running a Flirting Weekend a month after Valentines!

Peta warns "If you yearn with sadness for what you don't have it will show up in your body language and it isn't a pretty sight."

Needy women and men will attract mates but they'll either be abusive or rescuers who want to 'make it all better for them'.

Rescuers generally need the reassurance of knowing someone is dependent on them  to feel good.  They are as needy as the people they go for, in their own way.   This leads to co-dependency.  If one person grows out of the neediness, the balance is upset leaving the relationship without any foundations.

Peta says that many of her clients are trained to focus on what they haven't got and dream of a relationship as the saviour of their life.     When she asks them what they want, 90% of them get a glimmer of it and then they talk about their problems. 'People love to wallow in the mud - I am to show them the sunshine'

"People have to be retrained to look at what's possible instead of moaning about what was and worrying about what isn't."  

Truly attractive people are happy inside and are curious about other people and like themselves and don't worry what other people think and are open and they give off very powerful signals.

Peta encourages her clients to stop looking for a relationship to make them happy and start being happy first.     Peta says, "Happy people attract happy people". Be more of the person you want to attract and you'll surprise yourself.

Peta also says that more and more people are enjoying the single life and developing relationships that work for them.  

A current storyline in Family Affairs, a weekly soap opera on UK's Channel 5, features a single woman/gay man relationship.  The woman, a nurse, has got pregnant with a gay man whom she loves and who is her best friend. 

Peta promises that you can create any relationship you want.  All you have to do is stop doing what you think you OUGHT to do and do what is RIGHT for YOU. 

Never sacrifice who you are for a relationship or a job.

Cut the whiney stuff like 'I've got to do this to make money' or  'the best men are taken' or 'all women are bitches' and start thinking about connecting with people in general and being nicer to everyone.    That's the first secret of attraction. Focus on what you want, make sure it's right for you and expect to get what you want are all further steps in the process.

Peta's latest book, Secrets of Attraction, shows you how, with plenty of exercises and activities, you can develop deep level attraction and get what's right for you in any area of your life.

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