Find out how I use the models and methodology of NLP and the MythoSelf-tm Process to help you become more flirtatious and attractive. Discover the The 7 strategies of superflirts and try out my 6 activities build your flirt muscle activities...
How To Attract Exquisite Relationships
The Secrets of AttractionWeekend
Oct 17-19
Deep, personal, intimate, small group weekend
using the MythogenicSelf-tm process
Simon is 35 and has been out of a long term relationship for 2 years. He’s ready for a new relationship but he hasn’t a clue how or where to start and by his own admission, his flirting skills are pretty rusty.
Of course he wants to get laid but he also wants more and he’s not sure…and a little scared of taking the plunge..
Liz is 46 and has carved out a great career but it has been at the expense of developing a loving and lasting relationship. Most of her friends are married and she hasn’t had a relationship beyond a few sexual flings in seven years. Liz wants to find someone to share life with.
Liz and Simon are typical of the people who come to the Flirting Academy for help either via private coaching or to experience a live pulling power weekend, and like many before them they got more than they anticipated!
And sometimes they learn that what they think they want/need isn’t the path to the way of being they want to access, deep down in the recesses of their unconscious yearning..
What is flirting?
By now I trust you realise that there’s more to flirting than twirling your hair or delivering clever chat up lines. Sure people do flick their hair, flutter their eyelids and say clever things, but they do this naturally as a result of developing a flirtatious nature and an ability to read and interact with people.
Good flirts are able to develop magical rapport with others. It has nothing to do with physical looks and everything to do with how good-looking you are from the inside out. I believe that flirting is a natural skill of human interaction that is an essential part of finding and developing romantic, social and professional relationships.
Psychology Today agree with me. In a 15-page special on flirting they wrote:
“We flirt with the intent of assessing potential partners, to have sex and when we’re not looking for either. We flirt because flirtation can be a liberating form of play, a game with suspense and ambiguities that brings joys of its own”.
When we flirt first with ourselves and then with others, we create a ‘feel good’ effect that spreads to everyone around us and they in turn are irresistibly drawn to us.
Imagine what it would be like to feel good about yourself on a regular basis.
And then imagine what it would be like being able to interact with strangers and people around you in such a way that you make them feel great too.
Are you ready to take the leap into the adventure of love? If so, you might be destined to come on this weekend..
How To Attract Exquisite Relationships
The Secrets of AttractionWeekend
Oct 17-19
Deep, personal, intimate, small group weekend
using the MythogenicSelf-tm process
You are a natural-born flirt!
Most of us believe that some people are naturally gifted with those skills and others have to learn them.
I prefer to think that we were all born with these skills, and that some of us had them well-meaningly but erroneously taught, parented or friended out of us!
Spend time with any baby and you will discover that they are all naturally flirtatious.
As we grew up, some of us got positive messages about flirtatious behaviour, while many of us were told to shut up, stop showing off and stop drawing attention to ourselves. If we sung our own praises it was called boasting. Some of us were told that we weren’t attractive.
Many of the negative messages we got as children are unproductive and continue to replay in our minds and stop us from being naturally flirtatious.
In our flirting classes we teach people how to get back to the way they were before they learned how not to be like that!
Single again?
Often after the break up of a relationship you feel vulnerable, alone and unloved. It seems as if everyone in the world but you has a partner and sometimes you may despair of ever finding love again.
This is an illusion and merely a product of your own thought processes.
BEWARE! Illusions are fantasy of the most dangerous kind and can lead to self-deprecation and lack of self worth.
When you believe in this illusion, it leaks from every pore in your body and people around you pick up the same signals you are giving to yourself. YUK!
The good news is that it can be different. That’s part of what we help you with on a flirting playshop and we take it even deeper on the Secrets of Attraction weekend
How To Attract Exquisite Relationships
The Secrets of AttractionWeekend
Oct 17-19
Deep, personal, intimate, small group weekend
using the MythogenicSelf-tm process
Suddenly Single ater 20 years – Peta’s story
When I was 48, I left my partner of 15 years. I was suddenly faced with having to put into practice all the things I’d been teaching other people. I had very little money, and left my comfortable home in London for my parent’s spare room in a geriatric retirement town on the south coast.
Opportunity arising from challenge
Despite the upheaval and financial challenges, I saw being single as a chance for me to truly be myself at my best and not someone I thought my partner wanted me to be.
I knew this intellectually at that time, but I wasn't single for long enough to GET it and have the experience fully
Next!
Before I knew what was happening, I had flirted my way into a relationship with a new man. He was hunky,he fitted into my social sphere, he rode motorbikes, good company and we harmonised with each others' families.
Deep down I knew he wasn't the person I was going to get into a 'spiritually demanding' relationship with. I wrote in my diary in the first year 'He is a man for now'.
Despite that the relationship lasted four years and just after I’d written a press release saying ‘be blissfully single this Valentines’ I had to eat my own words and digest them sooner than expected!
I found out he was interested in someone else and I also realised she was much more his ideal woman and that he had been absolutely someone I needed to have this interaction with. Later after the letting go, I got just how much I learned.
Letting go - endlessly
It hurt! It hurt because in the years you’re together with someone you do create ‘energetic ties’ and habits.
Separation and moving on means that some of these ties and habits have to be loosened and left behind. AND we generally resist because our system has gotten used to it. Our system is biologically coded to seeks 'homeostasis' the state of staying the same.
It's the same biology that helps us maintain constant blood temperature and breathing rates which is responsible for trying to bring us back to equanimity when we get tense, stressed as we often can when facing 'change'.
Letting go is the only route to healing, moving on and starting the adventure again...
And I've found that when you let go, often later on, you are able to pick up the threads again and reweave them in a different form.. like great friendship, such as I have with both these men now.
I had no choice, I was single! I had to get that being single is an opportunity to take time to clean up our act, sort ourselves out and bask in the freedom of discovering what we really want… as well as taking time to
enjoy our friends and family.
Blissfully single
I visited friends all over the world in the States, St Lucia, Greece, Spain.. I went on courses in the States and met new people, re-energised ongoing friendships and created family for myself all over the world.
I enjoyed setting up a home on my own, making it me, working in peace and quiet.. and then… slowly as I healed.. I noticed that I was ready to attract someone into my life…
And I did... and once again, the adventure carried me this time across the ocean. And that too had its time and helped me revive and evolve rapidly.
I’ve been more or less single for nearly 4 years and now at the age of 55, I'm dating and exploring and I am opening the doors to a man who wants to explore relating, to go deep into the experience and is willing to be vulnerable, communicative and take the lessons as I am
I sense that he will appear if and when he is meant to and I will jump into this new adventure with him...
AND I also know that I can be alone and content and full of joy then and if that is how I am to be then it will be perfect.. because finding a partner is not the only way to achieve personal bliss..
The lessons of love are all perfect
And sometimes things that seem to be one thing turn out to be signposts and doorways to something far greater than the original assumption.
Even if what seems like ‘the one’ is suddenly not.. take heart.. a huge lesson is there for you and you are about to GROW…emotionally…
For a reason
The last relationship I had, a whirlwind, deep love affair with a spiritual teacher. I learned things from him but more powerfully the experience with him and how it played out taught me so much about myself [and him!] and relating
Synchronistically through this man I met a woman with whom I’m now creating a relationship network entertainment education experience based on people patterning and getting to know what makes people tick including you.
And she has become a close friend. I fly out to stay with her for a month at the end of February.
Sometimes we don’t get what we think we need - we get what we actually need.
The two can seem very different and sometimes what we get appears unwelcome until we put the pieces together and get how it all happened to bring you here and now.
How To Attract Exquisite Relationships
The Secrets of AttractionWeekend
Oct 17-19
Deep, personal, intimate, small group weekend
using the MythogenicSelf-tm process
It's all perfect - get that and you're on track
And however you feel right now, you’re in exactly the right place. Because life is a never ending rollercoaster of happening and as the quantum physicists tell us, we are unfolding as an integral part of the universe unfolding..we are not apart from it we are a part of it.
The Secrets of Attraction include
Acceptance of how it is, a desire to explore yourself and learn, increased self-love, hope and a willlingness to be totally vulnerable.
These are the ingredients, the fundamental keys to attracting a deeply satisfying relationship. AND When you add some cool communication skills into the pot you have a recipe for exquisite attraction
How To Attract Exquisite Relationships
The Secrets of AttractionWeekend
Oct 17-19
Deep, personal, intimate, small group weekend
using the MythogenicSelf-tm process
How I bring NLP to Flirting and AttractionNLP is a methodology by which we model greatness. I use the techniques and attitudes of NLP alongside the MythoSelf-tm process to work out what makes a great flirt and work with people to help them become what I call inside-out flirts.
Great flirts all seem to have these qualities in common. What would it be like for you if you were able to
– Be yourself and feel great about who you are – generalised desired state, positive self talk, self compassion
– Be aware of the fact that we are all connected – we are part of that which is greater than us not apart from it – give your complete attention to others as well as yourself
– Initiate and maintain connection with strangers – stop talking crap to yourself, develop rapport, match movement, energy, voice, calibrate preferred modalities
– Send out appropriate signals and tune into other people’s sexual and social signals – sensory acuity, self awareness, being in your body, presence and attention
– Recognise and use people’s personal preferences for language and space to become more attractive to them – language patterns, NLP sorts, energetic rapport
– Handle and welcome rejection as a way of sorting out who’s really right for you – reframing
– Make other people feel good by being genuine, warm and friendly towards them – be real, be true, be authentic, be YOU.
6 activities to build your flirt muscles
1. Spend at least ten minutes every day thinking about what’s great about you. Look into the mirror and compliment yourself!
2. Stand up tall with your feet about 18 inches apart, pull your shoulders back and down and make circular movements with your hips. Lick round the edges of your lips as you think of a sexy moment in your life. Doing sexy body language consciously is a way of beginning to develop it as a natural way of being.
3. Start smiling at people you don’t normally interact with and notice the effect.
4. Pay attention to how other people speak and move. Notice how they speak at different rates and volumes and move with different energy levels. This is the first step in being able to develop an energetic rapport with others that will make interaction much smoother and more successful.
5. At the beginning of each day ask yourself what great opportunities to connect with people are going to present themselves. You’ll be surprised how setting a positive focus allows you to detect things that may have previously gone unnoticed – “shift the filters, force the sort” – Joseph Riggio
6. If you go to a social event, drop the 'seek and hunt' attitude , skip the shoulds musts and ought tos. Just experience it for what it is. Reframe it as an opportunity to study people, meet new people, try out your skills and expand your social network. Most people meet their partners through synchronicity or via people they know and when they least expect it!
How To Attract Exquisite Relationships
The Secrets of AttractionWeekend
Oct 17-19
Deep, personal, intimate, small group weekend
using the MythogenicSelf-tm process
Peta Heskell is director of the Flirting & Attraction Academy and author of 4 books in the Flirt Coach series [including Flirt Coach which heavily incorporates NLP methodology in the frame of flirting. She is a Licensed trainer of NLP, A licensed Strategic Attraction Coach,Licensed MythoSelf-tm process facilitator, a popular and entertaining media broadcaster with expertise in relationship, psychological patterns of behaviour, sexuality and communicationCourses with Peta
Peta runs 3 live courses, 3-4 times a year The Pulling Power Flirting Weekend, twice yearly The Secrets of Attraction – weekend, and once a year Find the Love You Want in paradise – a 10 day relationship healing and exploration for older women, St Lucia.
She also offers private coaching via email, telephone and in person.
She has an ongoing teleseminar series, fortnightly and runs a twice yearly Attract Your Perfect Relationship-tm teleseminar process.
Peta is currently creating a relationship networking site based on learning what makes people tick as we relate with each other.
www.attractionacademy.com – Peta’s Attraction and Flirting website
www.erelating.com Launching 2008.
http://www.attractionacademy.com/article.php?story=20080119151846171